Our Will and God's Will

I have learned an important lesson this week as our family experienced what we did. As most of you all know I was pregnant. As of last Sunday I was 11 weeks pregnant. On Monday, after attending parent preschool with my girls, I noticed that I was spotting. I immediately called my midwife who said that she would come and see me. She let me know that some women do spot and bleed during pregnancy, so it may be nothing. She also said that if I am miss carrying that there is nothing that I could do to stop it from happening. I had Landon give me a priesthood blessing and went to bed. On Tuesday I was bleeding still and a little heavier than the day before. I kept my midwife up to date and carried on with my day. I had Landon and my Dad give me a blessing of the sick. In it was told that things would go according to Heavenly Father's will. My fear that his will was to not carry the baby any more. I called some family who had experienced this before to understand more what was happening to me. That evening I felt something change inside of me and I rushed to the bathroom. From then on until Wednesday evening I was bleeding quite heavily, having a lot of cramps, and passing a lot of blood clotts. The bleeding was what was concerning me, and I was sad that this was all happening. I had Landon give me another blessing of comfort and what was said gave me great peace. I knew at this point that I wasn't going to keep the baby, so the blessing was what I needed. I was able to sleep well that night, and Landon stayed home that next day(IWednesday). Family and friends were kind in calling and bringing me meals as I rested all day. Landon did amazing with the girls that day. My midwife came and checked my vitals to see if everything was ok and it was. That evening we went to soccer to watch Skai play, and came home and got ready for bed. As I was helping the girls in the bathroom I felt something and went to the washroom as I passed the baby. It was amazing the peace I felt as it all ended. I was so glad that the bleeding slowed down considerably and the cramps went away and the whole experience was done. As we looked at the mass, we could tell that it was not developing properly and that it was better that I didn't carry it longer. Although I was excited at the thought of having another baby, it was not God's will that I have one this fall. I am looking forward to trying again as I know that there is another little one waiting to join our little family. It is hard sometimes to know God's will and as hard as it may be to accept the will of God, we can receive the confirmation we needto know what is happening is what Heavenly Father wants to have happen and we learn and grow from each of these experiences. I am greatful for this experience and what we as a family have learned from it. I am also thankful for the love I have felt from family and friends around us as we moved through this. We love you and wish you were all close enough to give you all a hug and say thank you.